...and yet another month later...

(this is long and very rambling.... i just needed to write out my feelings about work, babies, daycare, etc... it helps me somehow)

ok, so somehow i let another month go by without posting anything! such is life these days. the days are flying by. there have been lots of changes and lots of learning going on in our household, especially for me! maggie and caleb started going to daycare full-time on august 10th. i am learning how to deal with a very different lifestyle than i ever imagined i would have as a mother of two! i don't know what i pictured exactly, but somehow i never would have guessed that i would be working this much, with a one and two year old. i am learning to accept it, though... and God is so good to our family through it all! i know it must sound really trivial... most moms have to work and probably most kids go to daycare. i just never imagined that mine would, especially full-time! since january, i've been gradually working more and more, and in recent weeks i have realized that i am working 40+ hours each week.. not just on busy weeks. and there is zero time for extra activities other than work unless it's before or after hours (although i do somehow fit a workout in each day either early in the morning or after work, generally). what really hit me these past few weeks was how little i am able to be with maggie and caleb. they wake up around 7:30 and we have about an hour, sometimes two, before i take them to daycare on my way into work. i love being with them and i hate dropping them off (although i must say, it's an awesome place and i love all their teachers)... but when i get to the store i am totally consumed for the next however-many hours until i get off (usually sometime around 5pm). so consumed that i hardly even think about the little sweeties. i usually do a slow cooker dinner and we all eat together when we get home.... and then we play (and casey and i try to clean the house) for a few hours before bedtime. it really doesn't sound that bad now that i'm writing it out... but it's painful to me somehow. i know they are growing up so fast and i am missing it. but there really don't seem to be other options at this point. there is more to do at the store than we can possibly do, it seems. and i can't hire someone to take my spot.... i don't even make good decisions lots of the time... the company is so complicated now that we have 5 stores running... i could never train someone to make all the big decisions that have to be made every day. plus, i really LOVE my job. i love our company and our employees and i enjoy my time at the office. and staying busy every second sure makes the hours fly by. i always want to work, at least part time... i just never imagined our lives would look quite like this! thankfully, though, God is working all things for good, and He has a perfect plan for us that doesn't need to fit in my silly little box of what i think our family should look like. and on top of that.... how blessed are we that my biggest complaint is something so trivial! we have an awesome job that's super busy, and the two most precious children we could imagine. i have so much to be thankful for! :)